Archive for April, 2013

On love and equality

Tonight I saw Tegan and Sara perform live for the second time in my life. The first time I saw them was in 2010, when I was crazy-obsessed with them (see posts here and here and here *face palm*). Three years later, I can honestly say the obsession has died down a little and has instead evolved into a strong appreciation and admiration for these out lesbian identical twins.

I was pretty deep in the closet back in 2009 when I first started listening to Tegan and Sara. I had been struggling to come to terms with my sexuality, especially with what it meant in relation to my conservative, religious upbringing. At the time, there was no one I trusted enough to talk about it with, no one who I thought would understand and who wouldn’t condemn me and see me as a freak. When I realised, whilst listening to the album The Con, that the sentiments of love and heartache that these women were singing about were directed at other women, I suddenly felt like I was not alone. I slowly began to realise that it was ok, there wasn’t anything wrong with me, I didn’t have to be afraid or ashamed about how I felt or who I was.

Four years later..

As I sit in my chair at the Sydney Opera House, watching the heartache on Sara’s face and listening to the struggle in her voice as she sings the lyrics of Now I’m All Messed Up, especially the part when she yells “go” to this person she is in a relationship with in the song when it is clear that what she really wants to say is “please stay”, I am struck by the knowledge that although our hearts may beat for the same-sex, our love is just like any other’s. We feel the same excitement and exhilaration of that first kiss, the same joy and ecstasy of falling in love, and the same pain and utter desolation of having our hearts broken. For any person who has ever been in a heterosexual relationship, we have felt that same love.

Having said that, Australia is still one of the places in the world that has not legalised same-sex marriage. Some people may ask why marriage equality is such a big deal. Why can’t we just be content to do what we want in our own homes? Why is it so important for our marriages to be treated in the same way that heterosexual couples’ marriages are treated? The reason is that the government’s stance on marriage equality says a lot about its, and our society’s, attitude towards gay people, as well as having real-life, practical repercussions on our lives. I hope that in time, these attitudes will slowly start to change and that people will start to realise that no matter what your sexuality, we all live and breathe that same love, as miraculous and heartbreaking as it is.