on being thankful

I’m not a very optimistic person. I tend to be a glass half-empty kinda gal. When I consider possible scenarios and situations in my head, I usually imagine the worst case scenario. A lot of the time I underestimate people and I don’t give them the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes I write about dark and depressing things because that’s my way of dealing with my emotions.

Lately, however, I’ve been learning that it’s ok to be hopeful. It’s ok to be happy. It’s ok to hope that things will work out in the end. It’s ok to take risks, hoping for the best possible outcome. It’s ok to put yourself out there and be vulnerable, trusting that the people who care about you will not hurt you.

I don’t really like to get all mushy and sentimental.. honestly it makes me feel kind of gross.. but I feel so incredibly thankful right now to have family and friends who are so loving and supportive of me. I never let myself imagine that this was possible and I couldn’t be happier. Right now, I am feeling incredible joy and gratitude.

Yes, I tend to write about dark and twisty things because that’s what I do when I’m upset and trying to deal with my thoughts and emotions, but I don’t want that to be all I write about. I think it’s time to acknowledge that there are a lot of things that I am grateful for and happy about and that I don’t always have the dark and twisties. Sometimes life is great and fantastic.. and that’s definitely cause for celebration. Sometimes life is shit… and that’s ok too.

And sometimes, if you give people the benefit of the doubt, they might just surprise you in ways that you had hoped for but had never dared dream to believe was possible.

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